07 April 2008

Back Ward


You may have noticed my absence from the Aviary for the last week. I continued writing, but wanted to leave my entry addressing Staff Sgt. Keith "Matt" Maupin (see 3/31/08) up and prominent for a week. The remainder of last week's entries have now been published, in which you can find plenty of evidence that I'm back to my usual inanity.

The last week was actually a pretty busy one with theatrical activities, each of them under the guise of a "staged reading" (and y'all know where I stand on those [see 2/27/08 {but also 3/11/08, for a semi-retraction}]). These were paying readings, however, and at least one of them was a play I might actually stand a chance of playing the character for in a full-scale production. Allow me to procede in reverse chronological order. Or, if you won't allow it, read backwards.

.yllautnevE .ti fo gnah eht teg uoy ,em tsurT.

Last night I participated in a reading for an aspiring playwright, one who simply wanted to hear her words aloud in order to move on to the next stage of revision. Kate Chadwick is an actress, primarily, but I've never seen her work. I met her whilst working at the law office that used to employ me full-time. She is also a dancer, and the subject of her one-act that we were set to read, Swan Song, was the inner world of a classically trained dancer coming to realize she needs to break free of some of that world. I played the central character's brother (rather the comic relief, along with their sister) and we read in the living room of an apartment in Queens. I've usually enjoyed this kind of pizza-and-soda reading, but this one was particularly fun. Kate has a particularly lively sense of humor that, it seemed, everyone there shared. Interesting, too, how she incorporated that sense of humor into her writing of a largely serious play; I reaped a lot of the benefit of that, playing a kind of clown type. Kate's piece was also interesting to me for being a kind of dance/theatre hybrid, akin in some ways to the circus/theatre work I do. One can never adequetely describe those movement aspects in writing, so the play can not exist solely as literature. Frustrating in development, but ultimately a worthwhile effort, I find.

Saturday was occupied with the rehearsal for and performance of a staged reading of one of the NYU BFA program's playwright's plays. (That sentence? Totally why I haven't applied to said program.) Juliana Avery wrote The Biographer, and last Saturday I and a group of about six worked to represent it on stage. It was something of a gruelling day, actually. We rehearsed from 2:00 to 6:15, then took the stage at 6:30, and with a five-minute intermission the play ran until 9:00ish. Juliana, to her great credit, is entirely aware that cuts are necessary to make the play function. We received some of those cuts at 5:00, and they were certainly good ones, so I trust she'll procede along those lines. Juliana developed this play under the auspices of NYU's Steinberg lab, a subsection of their BFA program that I have been lucky enough to be involved with, in-class (I often wish I could make a sustaining day job solely out of the work I do for that class, actually). The Biographer reminds me of the novel Starting Out in the Evening, in that the inciting action has to do with a somewhat successful writer in his twilight years allowing a young female writer to interview him for a biography, but thereafter it takes a very different series of turns. I played the writer in flashbacks to his thirties (it really is an extremely castable decade of my life I'm in), when he met his (lasting) wife. By and large, a supporting character. The scenes were brief by comparison, and the character emotionally young, for all his life experience to that point. Yet he was delightfully fleshed out. Juliana has a real talent for throwing no opportunity for character development away and, as an actor, I value that extremely.

Finally, straddling Thursday and Friday was The Things We Did and Did Not Do, by Theresa Parsell Giacopasi. I read scenes from this play twice in class with Theresa, and she was kind enough to cast me in the reading. I do mean kind, because the character I played afforded me the opportunity to play to the hilt one of my favorite types, and one I rarely have an opportunity to play, at that. Jackson is a would-be private eye, and I modeled him largely after Bogart's Marlowe, naturally. I realized in working on TTWDaDND (for those too-brief hours) a big aspect of that type that makes it particularly appealing to me, especially in the context of Theresa's play. I am a straight man (read: stage type, not sexual orientation [though, read that too, if it suits you]) and there's no getting away from it. That's not to say I don't have a sense of humor; it's just that my type is the straight guy. Playing a PI trapped in 21st century upstate New York allowed me to play it straight, and still be the one to deliver punchlines. Best of all, the key to the character is that he's a guy who's frustrated at how unaccomidating his world is to the kind of man he's most fulfilled being -- something of a familiar position for a struggling actor (not to mention a geek who wishes Batman were real and he were him). The play is a comedy with a healthy dose of melancholy conflict. Theresa even gave Jackson a saucy moll to bounce off of at the climax (Gentlemen: Kindly remove from the brains from the gutters.), perfectly portrayed by fellow First Look actor, Michele Vazquez. In short: Too much fun.

These drams of theatre can often serve only to whet one's appetite for more, if the material is interesting enough, and such is the case here. Assuming I am still headed for Italy some time this summer (which, at this point, is its usual dubious sort of assumption) I've got a limited amount of time in which to be cast in something that won't conflict with that trip. Which means I need to jump on the audition train. Poste haste. Which I hate.

So somebody hire me based on my unique writing style. Hire me as an actor, mind you. Ready . . . GO!

03 April 2008

Boing Boing Boing



You know what's a great freaking site? Well, I'll tell you: boingboing.net. (I suppose technically it's a collaborative 'blog, but man; what a 'blog.) If you don't know the site, there's probably no hope for you ever knowing anything worth knowing about the internetz in a timely fashion, because I've known about it for a couple of years, and I my URL could easily be argued to be www.hopelessnessdefined.org. They are smart and funny and with it and hip, in charmingly geeky ways. Therefore, everything they have to say in their moderation policy goes double for me. Except, of course that I can't actually "disemvowel" your comments. And I can't afford legal representation. BUT OTHER THAN THAT...!

What does this have to do with a meaningful life, you may ask? That remains to be seen. But I will say this: boingboing.net definitely helps to keep me off the online versions of Space Invaders.

Well, it reduces the time spent, anyway.

02 April 2008

Unnatural


We seem to be obsessed with contorting our lives into unnatural forms. Perhaps it's some after-effect of evolution and self-awareness -- that we know we're adaptable in the long term, so we feel we ought to be able to mutate to any situation we can conceive of in the short term. Perhaps, though, it's just that human beans are stubborn (not yielding, like Lima). We want to shove that square peg into that round hole because, dang it, give us our way!

No where is this more evident to me than at my day job. There is a central struggle to my day job, a daily effort to achieve, that has absolutely nothing to do with the business of the business I work for. That struggle is to come out of my day feeling better than crippled.

As some of you long-time readers may recall (and hey: thanks; your complimentary Easy-Bake Oven[TM] is in the mail), a little over a year ago I gots me an injury that I didn't gets diagnosed until some months later (see 5/16/07). Well, in spite of pretty extensive (not to mention invasive) physical therapy and a greater understanding of my pelvic area than I ever hoped to attain, the son-of-a-bleeping injury persists. Sometimes I even aggravate it, quite accidentally, by doing something extravagant; like pooping. (That's not quite a fart joke but it is, to my credit, way too much information. You're welcome.) In sum of substance, I have a bad pelvic floor, and it will require constant vigilance and good habits to keep it in working order.

One of the worst things to do to it is to sit for prolonged periods of time. Worse still, to slouch.

Part of one of my very first professional theatre experiences was joining an intern class in the Suzuki method. "Suzuki" is not the same thing (or, indeed, namesake) for actors as it is for string musicians. Tadashi Suzuki is a director who believe actors should strive for a full bodily expression in their work, and who pursues this through a rigorous physical training not unlike martial arts training. One of the primary goals is to build up the legs to great strength and control, and so his technique involves a lot of slow rising from the floor, or stomping, or holding difficult positions for long period of time. I dig this. I'm all about it. Punish me so I feel good! Growr! <--[ferocious; I'm telling you]

What man was never meant to do is sit in a chair for eight hours a day. Hell. We weren't meant to do it for an hour. It's bad enough when you've nothing in particular wrong with you. When your entire well-being rests on the regular stretching and release of your pelvic floor, well, brother, I'll tell you what. What? I'll tell you: It blows. And not in that nice Las Vegas way. Many's the time I've considered taking the pay cut just to have a more active job, like a bike messenger, or someone whose job it is to spend all day stretching their pelvis whilst wearing non-binding pants. If I ever see an ad for an actor to play a traditional Scotsman for tour groups, I'll leap at it like I was already wearing the kilt.

I know I could use a little more grace in my growing old. I'm working on that. But I also know it's pretty messed up, what we expect from our bodies day in and day out. Get out there and move, people. That's what's good. That's what's meant to be.

01 April 2008

"April is the Cruelest Month"



It's taken me a long time to come to this decision, and I have to admit it's difficult for me to declare it, particularly here. It's also apt, however. I began this 'blog with the intention of chronicling the efforts of an actor trying to find an effective balance between his work and the rest of his life. "The Third Life," I called it. From the very beginning, I had to acknowledge the possibility that such a frank observation might lead me to a conclusion I wouldn't otherwise have entertained the possibility of. Now I find myself ready to make a change in my life, and I just have to ask for your understanding in doing so.

I am giving up acting.

To a few of you, this will come as little surprise. From the rest, I don't know what to expect. If you are counting on me for a specific project we've discussed, don't worry -- I'll be honoring those commitments, and fulfilling them just as I would have before my decision. And I won't stop helping friends out with their work, naturally, if they ask me. It's just that I'm going to have to start basing the decisions of my life more upon other things, apart from trying to act all the time. After giving it much thought, it's clear to me that this is the right decision.

It came down to this: What did it matter if I continued or not? What's really important is living a life I can be proud of, one that helps other people and supports my loved ones. Besides, the whole notion of "art" needing to be my career is hopelessly naive. Art can still have a prominent place in my life, regardless of what I spend the majority of my time doing. I won't stop thinking and having ideas, feeling and reaching out to others. I'll just stop auditioning and rehearsing and performing. I'll catch up on all the fun to be had by living a life that's still unique (it is me, after all) but lived a little closer to the main way.

There is a lot I enjoy doing, and a lot I want to try that has nothing to do with acting. Teaching, for example. I used to view it as a painful compromise, but I've been doing more and more teaching lately, and more often than not I find it a really gratifying experience. I'm not sure just what I'll teach, now that it won't be performance-related, but there's time to figure that out. And I can finally spend time figuring out all those little financial details everyone else has in their lives: 401(k)s, stock options, equity, etc. I have no idea what these things really are! And now I'll have the time and access to them to learn. I've been wanting to reacquaint myself with the trombone since last Fall, and can finally take those guitar, Italian and kung fu classes I could never commit to before.

Finally -- and this is more important than may at first be obvious -- I will no longer have to feel uncomfortable about myself in relation to the rest of the world. I can meet people and simply say, "I'm an accountant," or, "Did you see how the Giants were playing on Sunday?" People will accept me, and I will understand people. The world will make sense, and I can't wait for it. I've spent so long re-enforcing my own lonely battle for some idea of "truth," and asking difficult questions. Sure, I've had some friends who felt similarly and who questioned with me, and I hope I'll keep them, but now I'll have the rest of the world as my friend. I respect those who can continue that sort of struggle. I just have to do what's right for me.

So thank you, one and all, for joining me for the last year or so of my life lived a certain way. From here on out, this 'blog will catalogue different things; possibly guitar tablature and reviews of television shows, that sort of thing. I'm not sure yet. But the title is definitely going to be "Wednesday's Hobby" from now on.

[Oh and ah: Check the date of this entry. Hope you had a happy one, Fools.]